Marriage -- Part Two...

16) There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married.... and then it was too late!"

17) Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

18) They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

19) When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

20) There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

21) Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. (Irwin Corey)

22) When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. (Epperson's law)

23) Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting. (Ray Bandy)

24) The more I know about men, the more I like dogs. (Gloria Allred, feminist attorney, 1995)

25) If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created. (Anonymous)

26) If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry. (Chekhov)

27) Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. (Woody Allen)

28) Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life. But a woman is only sexy until she becomes your wife. (Al Bundy)

29) If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. ( Johnny Carson)

30) Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back. (Al Bundy)

31) An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. (Agatha Christie)

Marriage -- Part One...

1) Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence).

2) Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are still attached.

3) Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

4) Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Master's.

5) Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger, and two under the man's eyes.

6) Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

7) Marriage is not just a having a wife but also worries inherited forever.

8) Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-ring
* The Endu-ring

9) Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.

10) It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

11) Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

12) It's true that all men are born free and equal-but some of them get MARRIED!

13) There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

14) A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

15) Conversations between son & father:
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!