Courage and Bravery For Life...

A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers.

"On a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of macho bikers who were threatening a young woman."

I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.

So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him, "Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me."

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple minutes ago."

It's New Year, I Need A Raise

Presented before you are two letters between an employee and his boss.

The Employee:

Dear Bo$$, A$ all of u$ have red from the new$paper$, the $ingapore economy ha$ come out of the rece$$ion. In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company. I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

$teven $oh

Boss's reply:

Dear Steven,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOw a days, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,

NOrman NOn

Manager

Pac-Man Chart

MOTHER AND DAUGHTER BANNED FOR LIFE FROM DISNEYLAND

Pic of the Day

The Salary Theory...

Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time

Since:

Knowledge = Power
Time = Money
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:

Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:

The less you know, the more you make.

Free Drinks For Everybody!

One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50 please." The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.

The next night the same drunk comes in again, goes up to the bartender and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.

On the third night he comes in, the drunk comes in a says, "Drinks all around, except for you bartender!"

"What, no drink for me?" asks the bartender.

"No way...you get violent when you drink."

When Time Talks

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night.

He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

"What's with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked. "Its not a gong. Its a talking clock", the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend. "Yup", replied the drunk.

"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it. "Watch", the drunk replied.

He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "Hey, jerk! It's one-fifteen in the morning!"

Funny. Short. Different

I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

~~~~~

At pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us, "Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you make."

~~~~~

Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house. Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake."

"No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without asking."

~~~~~

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

~~~~~

My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

~~~~~

As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray."

From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."

~~~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

~~~~~

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

~~~~~

The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.

~~~~~

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

~~~~~

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

~~~~~

The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass produced by unskilled labor.

What's the Weather?

The weather here recently has not been kind enough, today with a downpour, the next day the sun is burning. Nevertheless, there's always a joke on everything. Below is a joke of "weather"; read and enjoy ...

It was already late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation In South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the Weather Service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later the chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen."

"How can you be so sure?" the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "Because the Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."

The Nitty Gritty Dictionary...

ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP:
A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:
Something other people have. You have character lines.

2008 hmmhh 2008...

Dinner at Lotus Silk Restaurant; with Markus, sis and her friend on the so called "Tongkangs" at Clarke Quay. Andy came afterwards, soon joined by Lenx + Yasin. Walked and then ran to Fullerton hotel to witness the "not so long" New Year fireworks, that completed our race towards 2008.

Yeah, that's it, that was all, 2007 had been completely finished. 3..2..1.. Its 2008!!
December 2007 - Cant believe I completed the marathon, it is also the month where I spent the most weekend at Orchard; shopping, movie
Nov 2007 - A girlfriend birthday, with the gift presented a bit late; W910i Handphone
October 2007 - House haunting, contract terminated by owner.
September 2007 - Where I started knowing stock and share
July 2007 - Sister graduation and 070707 - my proposal to an almost 7 years girlfriend, together with Alfan, he as well proposed. Forget to bend on knee =(

That was view occasion which still fresh in mind. Let me write more next time..
So let's have a very merry 2008, wish everything will be better...