Valentine's Joke

A Modern V-Day...

Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian Aaint and we're Jewish," he asks, "Will God get mad at me for giving someone a Valentine?"
David's father thinks a bit, and then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a Valentine to?"
"Osama Bin Laden," David says.
"Why Osama Bin Laden!?" his father asks in shock.
"Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
His father's heart swelled as he looked at his boy with newfound pride.
"David, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know," David says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines can shoot him."

Today joke

Bar, Bar, Bar...Bar, Barbara Ann...

This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.
MAN: "What was that for?"
WIFE: "What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Barbara Ann written on it?"
MAN: "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Barbara Ann was the name of one of the horses I bet on."
The wife looked all satisfied, apologizes, and goes off do work around the house.
Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting.
MAN: "What the heck was that for this time?"
WIFE: "Your horse called."