Horror Movie Safety Tips - Part One...

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

5. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

6. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

7. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short-circuits; just get out.

8. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

9. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

10. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.